The Sounder sat down with Stephanie Moss, co-director of “Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland,” to talk about motherhood. This weekend marks the ballet’s final run at Orcas Center, and its last performance is on May 11, which is Mother’s Day. Moss is the Executive Director of Children’s House and a long-time dance instructor. She is a mother to five children with her husband Brian, and they’ve welcomed additional family into their home over the years. Below is her perspective on what it’s all meant.
Much like “Alice in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” motherhood has been a journey of unexpected twists and profound self-discovery for me. This year marks the turning point where I’ve been a mother for more of my life than not. And as I reflect on what it means to be a mom, I am struck by how much my children, niece, and students have taught me over the years – and how I’ve grown and evolved because of them.
Growing up, my Ma instilled a strong and unwavering work ethic. As a single parent for several years, she worked tirelessly to provide for our family, often leaning on my older brother and me to help. Through her example, I learned resilience in the face of hardship and the value of hard work — even when you’re running on empty. Looking back, I can see how profoundly these experiences shaped who I am today. Most notably, I’ve spent nearly my entire life caring for babies and young children, beginning with my baby brother.
It wasn’t until I became a mother that I truly understood the depth of my Ma’s love for my brothers and me. As a young mom, I will never forget the feeling of bringing our eldest child home from the hospital and being completely surprised and overwhelmed by the intensity of unconditional love I felt for her — it was beyond words. A few weeks later, I remember calling my Ma and saying, “Thank you — thank you for loving me so deeply.” The words felt inadequate, but I think she understood what I was trying to say.
Over the years, my relationship with my Ma has evolved in ways I never expected. As a child, I often saw only her firmness — but it was rooted in love, and her high expectations helped shape the strength and integrity I carry with me today. As she faces the challenges of dementia, our roles have quietly shifted. Though the journey has been difficult, I cherish her more than ever.
As our family has grown and moved several times, each chapter has shaped a unique version of our life together. The early years sometimes feel like a blur, almost like they belonged to another lifetime. Each new season has stretched my abilities to show up daily and strive to be the best version of myself. People often say, “I don’t know how you do it all.” The truth is, I don’t — I drop balls every day. I’m incredibly fortunate to have a supportive husband who values family time together and cooks dinner almost every night. We’re a team. Where I fall short, he shows up. I try not to take it for granted.
I recognize motherhood is a gift, not a path every woman experiences. And that not every mother has the support of a partner like I do. It’s important to me to hold space with compassion for those who long to be mothers but aren’t. And recognize the women out there who are raising “bonus” children. I believe it takes an extra ounce of sacrifice to give with unconditional love.
Wonderland is not a place of straightforward lessons — it is a world that must be felt, navigated and ultimately embraced. In many ways, motherhood mirrors that journey. It demands the courage to let go of control, the patience to truly listen and the creativity to dance through the chaos. It is about finding meaning in the challenging moments and joy in flashes as fleeting as the Cheshire Cat’s grin.
As a mother and teacher, my deepest intention is to honor children’s rights, help them feel safe and seen and meet them exactly where they are. And my deepest JOY is witnessing the amazing humans they are becoming. It’s been an incredible privilege to watch my children grow into their own unique selves — carrying the best of their dad and me, yet becoming something even more extraordinary. They are our hope, and they are our future.
