Not alone – support group started for parents of children with special needs

Published 9:00 am Sunday, September 9, 2012

Raising a child comes with its ups and downs. Add developmental delays or behavioral problems, and the road gets rockier.

Now island parents have a place to share their struggles – and stories of joy – with others. The Island Parent Collaboration support group has been meeting since May and has a core group of moms and dads who meet on a monthly basis.

“I wanted a place for parents who are raising kiddos with special needs to share and talk,” said facilitator Tess White. “Down the line, I want it to be a group that can do some advocacy in the community as well.”

Tess and her husband Greg are parents to Grayson, 13, Erin, 11, and nine-year-old Willow. Erin was diagnosed with autism when she was four. As the Whites faced a new challenge, Tess craved a support group close to home.

“The difficult years were between the ages of two and seven. Erin is developmentally delayed and communicates differently than most kids,” said Tess, who is a pre-school teacher at Kaleidoscope and is completing a master’s program in teaching and early childhood special education. “We face unique challenges in terms of little things like huge breakdowns and major tantrums. It made it difficult for us to travel or go places.”

The nearest support group she found was on the mainland. She attended sessions and even trained as a “helping parent” for the program. But the ferry trips were a hassle. Now she is offering something to island parents.

“This is open to all different kinds of families,” Tess said. “It’s not about labeling your kid. It’s about supporting parents, even for those who are experiencing challenges and don’t know why.”

Island Parent Collaboration meets once a month in Greg’s office at 531 Fern Street. Upcoming sessions are on Wednesday, Sept. 12 and Wednesday, Oct. 10 at 5:30 p.m. Greg makes cookies and snacks and the atmosphere is informal. Stories shared at the meetings are entirely anonymous. Tess says her biggest hope is the secure funding for child care so single parents or both moms and dads can attend.

For more information, call Tess at 376-4991 or visit the group’s Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/IslandParentCollaboration.

Erin just started the sixth grade at the public school, where she has had the same aide for years. Tess says that while life has become easier for the family, things like the first day of school are “intense and challenging.”

“I’ve learned that I am further into the process than some other families,” she said. “For me, I’m far enough long that I am very accepting of the fact that my daughter has autism. I want to give people help and hope so they feel lifted up. Not that people can’t complain, but we have people there who can help lift you up.”