The sheriff’s office responded to the following calls

• An Orcas deputy was called to a house on Olga Road to investigate a burglary in progress. Upon arrival, the deputy found the perpetrator digging through the caller’s garbage. The deputy shouted commands at the suspect who then took off on foot. The deputy was unable to keep up with him. The suspect is described as short, quick and clever. He was dressed in grey and wore a mask. He may or may not have been a raccoon.

• A Lopez man was cited for harassing an “undiscovered subspecies” of Sasquatch, which is a felony punishable by a fine and/or imprisonment in the state of Washington.

• A deputy on San Juan responded to a report of a tourist being shot with a paintball gun. The shooter was cited for hunting without a license, and advised that tourist season doesn’t officially begin until summer. The shooter replied “tell that to the tourists!”

• A deputy on Orcas responded to a call of a mentally unstable woman rambling on about weasels at the Islands’ Sounder office. The woman was deemed unstable, due to devoting her life to weasels.

• A deputy on Lopez gave a driver a ticket for excessive friendliness after waving with both hands at three cars in a row.

• A San Juan deputy cited a ferry captain for driving the ferry too fast in a school zone.