Living with an alcoholic can be like walking a tightrope – one wrong move and you come crashing down.

Al-Anon meetings provide a venue for friends and family members of problem drinkers to share their stories and learn steps to move forward.

“I think everyone in that room has a tape recorder playing in their head of conversations and memories,” said Orcas Islander Diane, who wished to keep her last name private. “There are ways to get over that … Al-Anon is not something you go to for a few times and everything is fixed. It’s a lot of work.”

What is Al-Anon

Often confused with Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon is for friends and family of alcoholics. It is for those who are living with or who have lived with a person who has an addiction.

Those who attend meetings learn that they are not alone in the problems they face, and that they have choices that lead to greater peace of mind, whether the drinker continues to consume alcohol or not. There is some crossover attendance from Alcoholics Anonymous, but only when an addicted person has been in recovery for a sustained period of time and his/her sponsor feels that Al-Anon would be beneficial.

Al-Anon’s program of recovery is based on the “Twelve Steps” and “Twelve Traditions” of Alcoholics Anonymous. The steps are a foundation for personal recovery and the traditions help groups sustain their unity and fellowship.

Diane, who grew up with alcoholic parents, has been attending Al-Anon sessions for around four decades. Whatever town she’s lived in, she has sought out the support group. She has been involved with Orcas Al-Anon for 10 years and was a group leader for six years.

“It has helped me with every day living,” she said. “I do the daily readings and try to work the 12 steps.”

Some of the important lessons she has learned are to stop, think, and reply thoughtfully in difficult situations and see the good, not the bad, throughout her life.

“I am so happy I have a place to come to where people have the same kind of problems,” Diane said.

Another anonymous source said Al-Anon helps her forge better relationships and communicate her needs.

“The group helps me be more responsible towards my actions and learn how to be an adult and react to situations in a measured way,” she said. “Growing up in a family of generations of alcoholics, there weren’t many role models that resonated with me. And I always put other people ahead of my own needs. I never knew what I needed. Al-Anon has helped me put myself in the equation … I’ve learned how to take responsibility for my own feelings – no one can make me feel a certain way … Al-Anon provides a good road map for finding some semblance of joy and happiness instead of drama and fear.”

Al-Anon meets on Mondays at 7 p.m. and Thursdays at 5:30 p.m. at Emmanuel Church. Sometimes the sessions have two people; other times it is more than a dozen. Often visitors to the island join a meeting. Diane says many of those who attend the Orcas group are adult children of alcoholics.

Orcas currently does not offer the Ala-teen program, a support group geared for teenagers who have a problem drinker in their lives. Younger people are encouraged to attend Al-Anon meetings instead.

“We have a loose format,” Diane said. “But we don’t cross-talk, we don’t interrupt.”

Diane says that for many who are considering Al-Anon, anonymity is a major concern. One of Al-Anon’s basic principles is to keep what happens during meetings entirely confidential.

“Everyone does their very best to keep identities private,” she said. “I don’t even know the last names of most people … It is so important to be able to be in a room full of people who understand exactly what I am going through. It’s a safe place.”

To learn more

For more about Al-Anon, visit: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/.

A full schedule of Al-Anon meetings in the San Juans and Anacortes is online at http://goo.gl/1n8PJ.