Becoming the best version of myself, one brave step at a time

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, August 6, 2025

By Asifa Pasin

Sounder contributor

If someone had asked me 20 years ago if I’d become a writer, I might have laughed. Or quietly changed the subject. Writing wasn’t something I thought I was good at, and for most of my life, I avoided it. I didn’t feel ready. I didn’t feel qualified. But sometimes, life doesn’t wait for qualifications, it just hands you the pen.

I stumbled into journalism by accident, or maybe by grace. A small opening appeared at the Sounder, our local island paper, and despite the doubts whispering in my ear, I said yes. I showed up. And in that simple act of showing up, a quiet part of me, the part that always cared deeply about people, truth, community and justice, began to find her voice. Saying yes to that opportunity didn’t make me suddenly fearless. But it did set something powerful in motion: the idea that maybe the best version of myself wasn’t someone I had to wait for, or wish for maybe she was someone I could become, piece by piece, word by word, choice by choice.

Becoming the best version of yourself is rarely loud or glamorous. It often starts in small, shaky moments writing a story you’re nervous to tell, asking a hard question, admitting you don’t know, or daring to try again after a long pause. It means staying open to growth, even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts. For me, growth has looked like learning to embrace humility, and understanding that there is strength in asking for help. It has looked like stepping into leadership roles I didn’t think I deserved. It has meant learning to quiet the inner critic and listen to the deeper voice that says, “This matters. Keep going.”

That deeper voice, for me, has been nurtured through spirituality. After years of carrying trauma and pain I didn’t fully understand, I found a quiet and steady path toward healing through spiritual connection. It didn’t erase the pain but it gave me a place to rest, to be held and to begin again. Even on my lowest or loneliest days, I now know that I am never truly alone. There is something greater call it grace, love or light that walks with me. And that knowing has changed everything. I am 53 now, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come not because I have everything figured out, but because I keep choosing to grow. I keep choosing to engage. I keep choosing to learn. Being the best version of yourself doesn’t mean being perfect. It means being real. It means caring about others and caring for yourself. It means being willing to change and be changed by love, by truth, by time, by community. When I think about my sweet angel son Kendon, whose life has shaped mine in ways that words can’t fully express, he reminds me daily that the best version of ourselves is never about status or recognition. It’s about presence. It’s about love. It’s about being there fully, courageously, honestly.

Living on Orcas Island has also shaped me. This place with its wild beauty and tight-knit community teaches me that healing and growth are not just personal journeys. They are shared. We become the best version of ourselves by walking alongside others who are trying, too. So here I am a writer now, a mother, a wife, an islander, a spiritual seeker and a student of life. Still learning. Still becoming. And if I’ve learned anything worth passing on, it’s this: Becoming the best version of yourself is not something you achieve. It’s something you live, a little more each day, with every brave yes and every quiet moment of faith that reminds you, you are not alone.