Finding gratitude: A journey that starts small

Published 1:30 am Wednesday, July 9, 2025

By Darrell Kirk

Sounder contributor

My wife once celebrated her birthday with a thoughtful gesture that caught me off guard. Instead of receiving gifts, she printed up small stickers reading simply “GRAT.I.TUDE” to give to each guest who came to celebrate with her. Those little stickers, handed out with genuine warmth, sparked something in me that I hadn’t expected.

I’ve long understood the concept of gratitude and even practiced it in my daily life. But the true power of gratitude didn’t fully dawn on me until I heard Orcas Island resident Bryan Benepe read his remarkable story at an event at the Orcas Island Library about how gratitude transformed his entire existence. His journey began with something wonderfully ordinary: a simple carpenter’s pencil.

Benepe experienced clinical depression in 2018 after returning to Orcas Island, living in what he describes as “a bleak world without color or joy” where getting out of bed by 10 a.m. was a victory and he could only work 2-3 hours a day. During this dark period, he began making daily gratitude lists, and his bright fluorescent lime green carpenter’s pencils became a recurring item on these lists — pencils he had specially ordered when starting over in construction work. These simple wooden pencils, which he loved very much, would consistently bring a smile to his face even during his darkest days, serving as a small but powerful symbol of something to be grateful for that helped him gradually shift his perception from seeing his world as wretched to finding it fulfilling.

Quoting from Benepe’s story: “When I came back to Orcas, I did what I knew how to do—construction. A mainstay in my ability to be in the trades is a good carpenter’s pencil. To qualify, it has to be made out of real wood.

“In 1979, when I first started, it had to be made out of plain wood, because I thought that looked more like a real carpenter’s pencil. After a time, I favored a white pencil because A) they gave them to me for free at the hardware store, and B) it was easier to find when I dropped it on the ground.

“Now, since I was starting over, I ordered six dozen pencils made from real wood and painted a bright fluorescent lime green. I love these pencils—very much. They went on the list. Most days, they would go on the list. I was never shy about being repetitive.”

In hindsight, gratitude was an essential practice that helped me move from a season of despair to being heartily reengaged with my family, my community and my spiritual practice. Disclaimer: I still yell at people in traffic (quietly).

Benepe’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of gratitude, and that even something as small as a carpenter’s pencil can bring joy and change. Benepe’s story in its entirety can be found at www.BryanBenepe.com/gratitude.